


Question 1: Touka

by amuk



Series: interview with a ghoul [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Loss, Missing Scene, Moving On, Questioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 22:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6444478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just like their meeting, the coffee tasted slightly bitter. --Haise, Touka, Kaneki</p>
            </blockquote>





	Question 1: Touka

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: “but I like it because it is bitter and because it is my heart”
> 
> A/N: So, this is will be a series of interviews between Haise and the other ghouls. A little bit of creativity will be taken with canon.

 

“Here, the usual.” Touka gracefully placed the steaming cup before him. “Is that all?”

 

“Er, yes,” Haise replied awkwardly, realizing just how often he came here. He even knew her name. “Thanks.”

 

She smiled, turning to leave. “Call me if you need anything else.”

 

“Actually,” Haise blurted quickly. “Could you stay?”

 

She looked at him with surprise as he resisted the urge to cover his mouth. What was he saying? He had wanted to ask, for weeks now, if they knew each other. If he wasn’t just crying because this coffee tasted like home but was home. Something in him ached from it all, from this remembrance he couldn’t quite place.

 

But that was all he had. A feeling. A single thought that he might have known a girl like her once.

 

Before Haise could let her go, Touka nodded. “Sure.”

 

“Huh?” Haise stared at her, shocked.

 

She gestured at the near-empty cafe and shrugged. “I have time.”

 

Pulling out a chair, Touka sat down across from him and stared at him expectantly. She was tense, almost nervous.

 

She had been anticipating this, he realized. Anticipating him.

 

“I…Do we...”

 

The words were there, right there. On the tip of his tongue. In the corner of his mind, a voice urged him on, and he repressed a shiver.

 

It might be _that_ voice.

 

He didn’t want to know. He wanted to know. At a loss for words, he swallowed hard.

 

“Your...your coffee is always good,” he finally said, and winced at how awkward that sounded.

 

This was clearly not the question she had been waiting for. Touka looked confused and stiffly replied. “Thank you. An old friend taught me.”

 

He couldn’t have asked for a better opening. Steeling his courage, Haise asked,“Me?”

 

Touka snorted, so inelegant and unlike what he expected. An amused grin covered her face as she relaxed and shook her head. “No, definitely not.”

 

“I’m not that bad at cooking,” he weakly protested, mildly insulted.

 

“I didn’t say you were,” Touka softly rebutted.

 

Haise frowned, not quite satisfied. Somehow, it was too easy to talk to her.  “We were friends,” he stated. That had to be a fact.

 

Touka looked thoughtful as she examined him. “...no, _we_ were not friends.”

 

“But you knew me.” Haise persisted. He couldn’t be wrong about this.

 

“No, I don’t know _you_.” This time he caught the word she stressed, the tone of it.

 

“So…” Haise could still hear the voice in the back of his ear, see the shadowy figure waiting to be free. “You knew _him_.”

 

“Once, I thought I did.” Touka wasn’t really looking at him anymore.

 

Haise looked away, not sure of what to say. Those words, they weren’t for him. “Do you miss him?”

 

Touka rested her cheek on her right hand. “Sometimes.”

 

Her words were short but her voice was soft. Haise almost reached out to touch her, she looked so brittle.

 

“I’m sorry.” He couldn’t face her properly, directing the words at the table instead.

 

“For what?” Touka shrugged. “You did nothing.”

 

“I know...but still…” Haise muttered, guiltily.  “I’m sorry.”

 

She tapped her fingers on her cheek, aggravated. “Are you happy?”

 

“Huh?” He snapped his head up to look at her.

 

“Are you happy?” she repeated, her fingers tapping her cheeks in an ever-quickening pace.  

 

“I…” Haise swallowed, thrown by the question. By the brutal honesty her expression demanded. “I...It might be temporary but I like where I am.”

 

“Then that’s all I need to know.” Touka straightened up, clasping her hands in front of her.

 

Haise gaped at her. That couldn’t be all. “Don’t you want him back?”

 

“It would be nice.”

 

“Then why aren’t you doing something?” He was almost afraid to hear the answer. If she tried, he didn’t think he could fight it.

 

Touka twirled her hair around a finger. “My friend is no longer here.” He could hear the longing in her voice, for times long gone. “You are not him. There’s nothing else to it.”

 

“He…” Haise hesitated, not sure if she should hear this. If she could hear this. “He sometimes—”

 

“But he’s making the choice to not come back.” Touka looked him in the eyes now, leaning forward. “And I have made the choice to keep moving forward.” Her hands covered his, squeezing it tight. “And you are happy where you are, so there is nothing I have to do.”

 

This was the answer he wanted and yet he was not happy at all. Her hands slipped off his and he couldn’t move.

 

She was letting go of him. They’ve been in that position before, he was sure of it. They’ve been here before and this line, this situation, it was all scripted. All in reverse.

 

Even this touch, familiar as it was, was not so much comforting as it was a farewell.

 

She was becoming a stranger again. Stepping out from his life and back into his other’s.

 

For the first time, he wondered what it was like. The person he used to be. The life he used to have. If she had been in it, it couldn’t have been so bad.

 

“Can I meet you again?” His thoughts slipped out before could stop them.

 

Touka blinked and gave him a smile. Unlike before, it was polite and distant.

 

“Of course.” She got up, her break over. “You are a customer.”

 

She was drawing a line between them.

 

“I need to get back,” she added before returning to the cashier.

 

He couldn’t go any further than this.

 

“I understand. Thank you for your time.”

 

And if she was familiar, he couldn’t imagine what he was to her.

  
Haise took another sip of his coffee. Just like their meeting, it tasted slightly bitter.


End file.
